Sunday, October 29, 2006

Facing my fears

Yesterday I faced one of my fears. Its been one of those things that I try not to think about because of the emotions and thoughts it brings when I do.

Looking at things lately it has been obvious that I needed to face this one. Not facing would only bring problems down the road. So yesterday I did it, I climbed up my old rickety ladder on to the roof and began cleaning the gutters.

It's not so much that the gutters are my is getting to the edge of the roof and peering down the 20 some odd feet to the ground below, that is when my fear sets in. And it is not that I have a fear of heights. I think it is being on an uneven surface with nothing to grab knowing that with one slip I could be going over the edge, because no matter how many shingles I am able to grab, the two nails that hold them are not going to hold me. I think that is why I like trees, plenty of branches to grab hold to if the need arises.

Thursday, October 26, 2006


With what shall I come before the Lord and bow down before the exalted God? Shall I come before him with burnt offerings?...Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams, with ten thousand rivers of oil? Shall I offer my firstborn for my transgression?...He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. - Micah 6: 6-8

Prayer. I have been meeting with a group of guys going through a devotional book about how God calls us to live. Part of that life is prayer, so I have been thinking about that lately. Prayer is so much more than just the words. Where is the heart and where are the words coming from? How is life being led?

In prayer, I think God pays as much attention to the lives we are leading as he does to the words we are using. I like that last part, in Micah, walk humbly with him, pray without ending, and never lose heart.

I think that is why I sometimes get frustrated in prayer and begin questioning if God heard me. I think he is looking for a pure heart leading a God centered life. One of the verses I have committed to memory is John15:7 - If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. It's not just saying the words or the starts with being centered in him. For me its been getting into the Bible and putting it into my heart through memory. Not always an easy thing to has been a personal struggle lately. It is been easy to come up with plenty of excuses of "needing" to do something else, which sounds so stupid as I type this...what could be more important? Nada

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Week 14

I am following this pregnancy website that updates you every week to what stage the baby is at. Like what is currently developing, the size and weight, and that sort of stuff. Part of this weeks is:
The tiny, unique fingerprints are already in place.
I don't know about you, but I find that incredably amazing. Three months ago there was a life is forming and it already has its fingerprints.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Stupid, stupid, stupid

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. I will have to post the picture because I don't think I can do it justice with words.

Yesterday I got my drug, Remicade, for my Crohn's disease and with that they give me Benedryl. I guess there is a reason it says to not operate machinary while taking Benedryl. I made a stupid decision and instead of parking my tractor when I got to the wet part of a field I kept going...even after I almost got stuck not once but twice. I proceded to bury my tractor like I have never buried a tractor. I could be the poster child for my new motto: "If you're going to get stuck, get really stuck". I ended up walking the 3/4 of a mile to the barn where my truck was parked, feeling like a complete moron. 24 hours later and with a clear mind I can see how fuzzy my brain was...stupid, stupid, stupid.