Walk the Line

I went to see Walk the Line, a movie about the life of Johnny Cash, tonight. It hit home...hard. Not that my life is exactly like his...I can't even sing and clap at the same time, I might fall over...but I lost a brother also. That's where the similarity with Johnny Cash is, it starts and ends there. It ends there because I never knew my brother, he died before I was born. We didn't get to run, play, and fish together. I guess I probably share some of the same emotions and feelings too. The anger, guilt, unanswered questions...

I have never understood why. Why I never knew my brother, why he got leukemia, why God took him from my family...Why? I wonder what he looked like, what he liked, what he did, and a lot of other things like that. I wonder what life would be like if he was still alive.

So I drove home tonight with tears streaming down my face, wondering why?

I have had three straight nights of none to little sleep. It seems like I have so much on my mind...its racing, wondering that question of why about so many things.